2013 is on the Horizon…

In 2012, I went through a lot of changes.  In January (1-2-12) I married the best man I have ever known, Dustin.  At the time, I had two foster children.  They returned to their family in February, and it was heartbreaking to me. I really did not expect to be quite so attached to them.  However, I’m glad they have been able to return to a normal family life and experience love from their biological families.  In April, my niece came to live with us.  She was having some trouble in school and what not, so Dustin (AMAZING MAN!) and I decided that we would give it a shot.  It has changed (for the better, I think) both of us.  Around June we found out that my brother had cancer, and he has been fighting it through chemotherapy since then and we now know that he is CANCER FREE!!! Throughout the year I lost friends, family members, and former classmates unexpectedly.    I also have really lapsed in going to church, and I had some faith issues that I had to work through.  I’m feeling much stronger in my relationship with the Father now.  In addition to (and sometimes in spite of) all that, I lost SIXTY pounds! That’s a whole child. hehe.  Just ten days ago, I survived the end of the world.  Life is good. 😉

I thought I’d put my plans for 2013 here in black and white…or whatever color it shows up. 😉  So, here they are…

  • Get back on track with exercise. I gotta face it, I haven’t worked out (really) in two months.  That is SO sad.  I want to lose another sixty-five pounds this year.  
  • I think I’ll try vegetarian again, or maybe veggie with fish.  I’m diggin’ it. I felt a lot better when I didn’t eat meat.
  • Read my Bible.  More often, and more of it.  I’d like to get through the whole New Testament, at the very least.
  • Pray more diligently for others and for myself.
  • Learn to either knit or crochet.
  • Finish Ashlynn, Brently, and Jace’s scrapbooks.  This is ridiculous since Ashy is four and I was supposed to do it right after her first birthday. LAME – O.
  • Move into our own house; like…we OWN the house.  Pretty excited about this prospect since we’re supposed to close in just around two weeks.
  • Take at least 24 credit hours of college courses toward my teaching degree.
  • Take a vacation with my honey, and maybe take The Girl along.
  • Try at least one new thing that Dustin suggests.
  • Be more kind.
  • Be more loving.
  • Be more genuine in thought and deed.
  • Put in more effort to be a great friend; reject mediocrity.
  • Actually WRITE to my friends/pen-pals.
  • Let go of more “stuff.”
  • Be myself.
  • Listen more and speak less.
  • Doodle, draw, paint – CREATE more!
  • Be a better parent to my niece.
  • Read at least 52 books.
  • Mark at least one thing off of my bucket list!
  • Make and participate in the “Good Things of 2013” jar I saw on Pinterest.
  • Try to learn to play golf.
  • Reduce, recycle, reuse as much as I can. Make a difference!
  • Buy more music!
  • Stop biting my nails.
  • Save up the money for a craft building at the new house.
  • Pay down some of the student loan debt.
  • Actually follow-through with all of these plans. 🙂

I think that’s it. What are your plans for 2013? It is the year of tremendous blessing.

Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.  Happy New Year!

xoxoxoxox

Sara

Drawing Near

I have been struggling with my faith. My beliefs have not changed.  I believe that God is in control, that He rules the universe and yet still allows us to freely choose Him, but I have not been faithful the way He is.

I have reached out to my friends and they are overwhelming me with their willingness to pray for me.   For hours tonight, I have prayed and worshiped and I am feeling improved. I feel hopeful once again.  Hopeful that I can draw near to Him regardless of how things look right now. I choose to look with spiritual eyes. I choose to allow Him to work in me.  HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FIX THIS.

Father, hear my cries.  Renew in me Your spirit.

rambling…

Take my life, God and make it wholly Yours.  Invade me and make Your habitation here within me.  My voice is Yours; may it sing Your songs, bring You glory, edify those around me and bring Hope to those who don’t yet know You. My words could never be enough, O’ God; may my actions reflect what I say I believe.  Blessed are You, my Father.

Let me remember that You never forget me.  That through everything, You are truly there carrying me, my King.  When I am lost, You have not lost me.

I want to be like You, Jesus.  Not like the people who say they know You.  ‘Christians’ are so far from where they should be. I want to be like my Jesus! I know I’ll never achieve being like You, but I want to!  Don’t let my heart grow weary.

I struggle with understanding how You can love someone like me.  I know that You do, but I cannot understand why.  I’m so broken.

There is none like You!  Blessed be Your name.  You give and take away. I choose to believe that You are continually working things together for my good.  Thank You, thank You, thank You!

heartache, pain, and the healing of the Father

Stormy Sky

Image by bterrycompton via Flickr

I have suffered a lot of heartache in my life.  It has caused a deficit of hope in my heart.

I want to believe, I want to hope, I want to love.  It is just so hard.  Most of the time, I’m sure that is why I’m single. That the Father is wanting to heal a wound in me that I don’t even know about.  It seems to be His method with me sometimes because I am so stubborn.  I think if He made known to me what He was doing, I would fight Him.  I don’t know why, because I truly know that He will work all things together for my good. I firmly believe that with all of my heart.  I’m just the fighting type when it comes to that, I suppose.

I have ever only known one man in my entire life that knows how I feel, understands it, and experiences it himself. And he is so very wonderful.

Heartbreak isn’t a temporary thing; it lasts for a lifetime unless the Father takes it and makes you whole.

Abba, that is my prayer. Take my wounds and heal them. Make me whole again.  Make me fit to be his lover. Wherever he may be and whoever he is.  Teach me as You mold me, Lord.  Blessed is Your name.  There is none like You. Amen.